When I started writing what you’ve called my ‘funny, clever’ poems about Facebook and social networking in 2009, I had NO idea they would be my most popular blog posts. I get nearly 500! views of these poems every week, and several textbook companies have bought one-time rights to use them for teaching purposes. Thanks so much for your interest in my work.
I am offering up a couple samples of my ‘Facebook Poems’ below, but I’d like to ask you to please show your support, and please buy a digital copy of my book Leap (just $2.99 on all e-readers) to access the poems. You’ll get many more poems in these collections in addition to the ones about social networking.
POEMS ABOUT SOCIAL NETWORKING IN LEAP:
Progress
The Bard On Facebook
140 characters or less
Five Thousand Friends
Lolita
Social Networking
Three Spaces is now out on Kindle, Kobo, Nook Books and iBooks, and available on Amazon and Amazon sites worldwide & Bn.com in print form in April 2013. In it, you have the following poems about social networking and technology, just one click away, for just $2.99:
POEMS ABOUT SOCIAL NETWORKING IN THREE SPACES:
A Twittertine
Total Eclipse
Network Of Two
A New Poetic Genre: The Facebook Status
A Dear Facebook Letter
Double Text
Connected?
That Thing You Do
Slow Your Life
Dear Friend I’ve Never Met (The Facebook Poem)
No Klout About It (Prose piece)
The Day You Looked Me In The Eyes
If you are a teacher, speaking coach, or textbook company looking for poems like these, I can offer one-time digital, audio and reprint rights at reasonable prices. Let’s discuss this! Please Contact: writer@hgrace.com
SAMPLE POEMS:
Five Thousand Friends
NEW! Here’s Heather reading “Five Thousand Friends”
Just six clicks away
from five thousand “friends.”
No clue what today is,
or what’s on CNN.
I should really get dressed,
Or at least shave my pits.
But with all these new friends,
I can’t stop the clicks.
Glued to the screen
like some kind of affliction.
Welcome to Facebook:
the world’s
latest addiction.
Lolita
Her name is Lolita.
She’s got Double D’s.
She’s bold and she’s beautiful;
She’s eager to please.
She’s got five hundred friends;
She’s charming and wise.
They flock to her photos;
She’s so easy on the eyes.
Oh so lovely, dark, mysterious.
But that’s not just a fake tan.
That’s one fake old photograph.
That’s one smart old man.
All poems copyright poet Heather Grace Stewart
Web and print publishers, to secure reprint rights, audio or digital rights to any of these poems, please contact writer@hgrace.com
Thanks, Heather Grace Stewart
Those are fantastic!!! Laughed out loud at work here
me either – I don’t know what I’d do with 5000 friends. humor at work.
Hello dear Heather,
Lolita here.
My double D’S missing.
No sticking out rear.
No eyes you would swim in.
My tan lily white.
An expanding waistline,
Means trousers too tight.
Charming, I think not.
Skin rough as sand.
And friends here on Facebook,
I count on one hand
Smart then? Well maybe,
As one thing is true,
Following butterflies,
Led me to you.
Hello dear Heather,
Lolita’s returned,
As without an alias,
Advances all spurned.
No lighthearted banter,
Or pics of soft porn,
No suggestive comments,
To give me the horn.
It’s sad and it’s lonely,
If no one replies,
So is it a wonder,
I choose a disguise,
To raise my esteem?
And only to flirt?
If no one’s the wiser,
And no one gets hurt?
In truth though it’s sad,
If I have to rely,
On an oversized bossom,
To get a reply.
So reality beckons,
Back to the man,
With skin rough as sand,
And a lily white tan.
Cos friends here on Facebook,
Are plenty, not few,
Good friends. Not strangers,
And one of them’s you.
I’m happy, entangled,
And although we’ve not met,
I’m glad I’m caught up,
In your butterfly net.
I don’t know If I said it already but …Great site…keep up the good work.
I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks, 
A definite great read..Tony Brown
Hi Heather! I enjoyed the poem above about Facebook called Social networking. With your permission I make a note with it on my own FB-wall. I`ll leave a link to you there. Thank you again! Kari
fabulously fun page!
i loved the one about facebook it was great xx
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Pingback: The Bard on Facebook « Where the Butterflies Go
THEN I GO FOR FACEBOOK
I AM A DOCTOR BUSY WITH MY PATIENTS AND BOOKS
SOMETIME IDEAL AND FREE I GO FOR THE FACEBOOK
DEAR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES WHOM I WANT TO LOOK
TO MY SURPRISE THEY ARE ALREADY ON THE HOOK
SOMEONE IS UPDATING HIS STATUS AND
SOMEONE IS TELLING WHAT HE LIKES TO COOK
ONE IS WRITING ON THE ANOTHER’S WALL
OTHER ONE IS ASKING SOMEONE TO PLEASE MAKE A CALL
FACEBOOK FACEBOOK IT IS NOW EVERY WHERE
AND IN THIS CYBERSPACE YOU CAN FIND YOUR FOES AND DEARS
Thanks for your poem, Dr. Khullar–now don’t be texting and operating, please!
I love these poems. Your humor is awesome. The look/feel of your blog is really great. It’s definitely evolved. Having readings right on the blog is great idea. Congrats on all the interest in your work. You deserve it.
love the opening,
masterful poem!
Facebook…I am still laughing. I deleted myself and was amazed at the uproar it caused. How come nobody cared while I was on FB but then had so much to say when I went off? I am back on even though one of my relatives told me my posts are boring. LOL She may be right! Love your site and will come again. Hugs, pat
Thanks for reading Pat–I’ll visit your site again soon, too.
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Hey Heather,
I relate to your FB poems. This year alone, I activated and de-activated my FB profile many times….I began to call it “CRACKBOOK” in the end. Ugh! Am feeling much better the past couple of months being off it but sometimes I am so tempted to re-activate, just to see what my “friends” are up to!
So nice to find a kindred spirit at last!
Okay, I go now to peruse the rest of your amazing blog!
MUAH!
xoxox
Shoshi
Hi Heather
I liked them all pretty intellectual
The facebook title caught my eyes coz I just wrote one about FB myself
Since I read yours here’s mine
http://hindawy.wordpress.com/2010/12/07/as-is/
“You’re a microbyte of madness,
and sunshine, and fresh air.
(And faster than FedEx,
so I know you really care.)”
love LOVE this
This good fun and it is good-natured. I enjoyed it and identified with much of it.
This is great. It’s so true how people on Facebook are more real than the people we look in the eye (between checking texts and statuses).
Mine are here http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2010/12/12/hobbies-passions-pastimes-entertainment/ and http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2010/12/12/i-am/
I don’t often get a chance to laugh but this was simply great! Thanks for sharing.
You don’t get a chance to laugh often? Please, come visit here more often!
These were a joy to read and highly entertaining!
Funny and astute comments. You are spot on!
Thanks! I will share with my friends and I know they will be amused!
Charming rhymes on our electronic fixations and social networking. Enjoyed much, Heather. Made my evening. as a matter of fact.
Take it easy …
Thanks so much–you guys made my evening too!
Fantastic, light hearted and just what the doctor ordered! All very amusing and sadly true for most of us (hides all mirrors in shame). Thanks for sharing!
They are all great poems with so much truth in them. Really enjoyed reading this.
those were a hoot!
LOL, I ENJOYED THEM ALL LOL VERY NICE AND FUNNY TO BOOT! LOL
http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2010/12/13/my-poetic-man/
Man, I dance to Jai Ho! all the time. Also Tunak, Tunak, Tan by Dahler Mendhi, great stuff.
Loved all these – but the one that brought chills was the dirty old dude masquerading. Parents, are you sure about all your kids’ “friends”? Sobering.
Great work, found you at Jingle! Peace,
Amy Barlow Liberatore
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2010/12/13/the-precious-box-jingle-poetry-potluck/
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about the pinkback above,
please join us and vote after you scan the list.
every vote counts, thanks for the attention.
Will definitely do so–thanks for the nominations.
Liked the verse.. and Jai Ho struck a chord in me… Thanks for sharing. Its lovely and interesting…
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
Great writes… LOL on each of them, and how addictive it all is.
you are quite creative here,
clear statements,
talented writings…
I did not want to rush to comment the other day, thus waited until I have a moment to really read them…
well done.
Happy Tuesday!
You rock!
A+
alert(“i am here”)
Great blog it’s not often that I comment but I felt you deserve it.
haha… this is hilarious
what can i say afer all these comments???As one with a facebook myself, i found the poems delightful. well written and inspiring. Loved them all. made me smile and stirred my creativity, like a good poet does.
Nice to “meet” you Connetta–thanks for commenting.
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Pingback: Five Thousand Friends | A Few Poems About Facebook – Funny Facebook Status, GooglePlus Quotes, Tweets, Wishes, Sms, Poems and much more..
wow these r cool id dont know what id do with so much friends
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Great social media poems! These would go great with a few I’ve written. look forward to reading more of your poems, and thanks for subscribing
GOOD ONE AM YOUR FAN
jajajja esta bien padres jejjee
..
Good oneeeeeeeee
I love the new look. Very simple and easy to navigate.
I’m still reading Carry On Dancing, trying to go slow and relish it…It’s making me want to go back to Leap and Butterflies and read them again.
Hey! You’re my blogging buddy now! This is weird! And wonderful. xx Thanks for commenting.
nice poems
Love love love your post!
yeah, its like walking in the shadow of the universe all being blinded by all the friends chatting in the facebook …so its very fuuuunnnn….
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nice poem